The Power of Influence

The dictionary defines influence as: the act or power of producing an effect. But what does that actually mean? If I asked you: who has been a major influence in your life? What’s the first name that pops into your head? Is it a parent? A grandparent or sibling? A poet or philosopher? A teacher or an athlete?

We can all point to people in our lives who have influenced us and helped shape the person we are today. And whether we know it or not, each of us has influenced someone, somewhere, and helped shape the person they are today.

On April 2, 2013, I attended the Simmons Women’s Leadership Conference in Boston. The conference took place at the Boston World Trade Center and featured many successful, powerful, and influential women – including Viola Davis, Award-Winning Actress (The Help); Sallie Krawcheck, Wall Street Executive; and Judy Smith, Crisis Management Expert and inspiration for the TV show, Scandal -- sharing their stories with more than 3,000 attendees.

We heard a lot of great stories that day about how these women became successful in their careers, in their families, and in their lives. In addition to their success stories, many of the speakers were also brave enough to share with us some of their failures, times when they stumbled, made mistakes, and had to pick themselves back up and move on.

As you would expect from a women’s leadership conference, all of these women were very well-spoken, intelligent, and inspirational. The thing that struck me the most, though, was how nearly every single one of them answered this question:

“How did you become so confident? How did you come to believe that you could accomplish anything?”

The almost unanimous first response to those questions started with: “When I was a child, my parents influenced me …”

If you’re a parent reading this, think about that. Think about it every day of your children’s lives. You have the power to influence your children’s self-esteem, the way he or she views his or her self-worth. Did you know you had that much power? That’s the power of influence.

After talking about childhood, and the power of their parents’ positive influence over them, the speakers then named additional people throughout their lives that influenced them in a positive way. Some of them mentioned teachers or professors. Some gave credit to former managers or colleagues they had worked for and with. Others cited mentors and sponsors that took a much more active role in their lives.

Regardless of who was listed as a person of influence, each and every speaker had at least one person, most had more than one, that they could point to and say Yes, this person made a difference in my life; Yes, this person helped make me the person I am today; Yes, I had help, I didn’t do this on my own. That’s the power of influence.

The day after the conference, I reflected back on the stories that were shared, the advice that was given, the general camaraderie felt by everyone who attended, and I realized something: in every keynote, throughout every breakout session, even during lunch, the one thing theme that kept coming back around, taking its place in nearly every discussion, was the ubiquitous power a positive influence can have one someone’s life.

Sallie Krawcheck, a Wall Street executive, was asked what advice she would give the women in the room on how to help other women achieve what they want in life. She paused for a brief moment and responded with: “If you can influence other women, if you are in a position of influence, USE IT.”

And that is exactly what I intend to do. Who will you influence today?